


I Miss You

by Mamogirl



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: And Brian misses Nick, Fluff, M/M, Nick misses Brian, Romance, a little bit of hurt/comfort, like so much fluff, old story, reaction fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-03-02 09:03:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13314909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mamogirl/pseuds/Mamogirl
Summary: I miss you.I miss your voice.I miss your smile.I miss your smell.I miss your hug.I miss your jokes.I miss how you make me feel.I miss your everything.





	I Miss You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pocket_Owl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pocket_Owl/gifts).



> So, this is an old very short story that I wrote in the late 2012 (Good Lord, that was a very long ago! lol) and it was a reaction after watching a Nick's videochat where someone asked him if he missed Brian.   
> Last night I was talking with a very dear friend of mine and she made me remember that I did write something about it and so... here it is.   
> Have I said how much I love writing about these two?  
> Gosh.

Miss You

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"Do you miss Brian?”_

That question had managed to shut him up, taking him by surprise and without a quick reply to offer back. What kind of question was, anyway?

Of course Nick missed Brian.

But, maybe, he missed him in ways that the fans couldn’t even suspect and could never be able to discern, taking it apart as if it was something to be studied and analyzed. Or, maybe, those people already knew what really was going on between them, years and years of observing and hoping that that special friendship could hide something a little deeper, something than no one else but them could have and treasure.

_“Yeah. I miss Brian.”_

How could Nick even begin to explain how deep that feeling run? It wasn’t something normal, it wasn’t just feeling the absence of a coworker, a friend, someone who had become a sort of family during over the decades.

No. Oh God no, it was so much more than that. It was a dull feeling that sat on the bottom of his stomach and almost sucked out every color and every happiness, just because he couldn’t share it with the one had got a hold of his heart for... oh, since the beginning of time and space. It was feeling half empty, half awake if he wanted to quote one of their songs. It was knowing that the world was so much better when they were in two to fight it every day, every hour and minute.

No, it was almost impossible to describe what it meant to miss Brian.

Because it didn’t mean to just miss him physically: the bed was bigger, so much bigger when Nick was the only one lying and sleeping on it; there wasn’t that someone that would always start a fight for the covers and blankets and there was no ending up with Brian basically sleeping upon Nick, as if he hadn’t never needed nothing else to fall asleep warm and safe. That absence, that missing was a physical pain, a skip of heartbeat because there wasn’t that comfort and security knowing that, maybe, he couldn’t shake away fears and demons with words but he could be a shield during the darkest hours.

Missing Brian didn’t mean just missing the mornings, that slowly waking up and just taking in the beautiful man who was still sleeping, sunlight falling just right and almost making him look as if white and golden wings were covering him. It didn’t just mean missing the smell of coffee filling the air almost immediately, him tasting it upon Brian’s lips in a stolen kiss while the other man was busy cooking something for breakfast because _“mister, breakfast is the most important meal of the day and you’re gonna eat it”_ with that stern and adorable expression that only love could make just perfect. It didn’t just missing Brian still singing whatever was on his mind, be it an old song and something that he had just made it up, while cleaning and trying to make order into Nick’s chaos and messiness.

Yes, Nick’s house and life was always messier when Brian wasn’t around to take the reins and put everything into order.

Missing Brian wasn’t just missing the opportunity to wrap his arms around him just because he could, without any reason; it wasn’t just touching his skin, caressing with his fingertips those spots and lines that he knew would make butterflies fly and fireworks explode into Brian’s nerves and body. It wasn’t just taking Brian’s face into his hands and kissing him as hard as he could, just to remind his mind and heart that they were this, two flames that could only brighter and forever only if they were intertwined one around the other.

But Nick did miss Brian’s kisses, those small touches that landed out of the blue, most of the times catching Nick by surprise because they were busy doing something else, watching Kevin trying to find the perfection into something that was already perfect. But Nick did miss the way Brian would just lay his head on his shoulder, sighing softly because maybe the day hadn’t gone how he predicted and tiredness was harder to fight when you were already using all of your energies battling with the everyday’s craziness. Nick missed Brian’s presence in those rainy days, when laziness swept into the bones and all they wanted was to stay in bed, forgetting that the world was even existing and trying to find new ways to know each other more, to love each other more and deeper. Nick missed the fun, the jokes, the songs sang at the top of their lungs because they were happy and because that, singing, was how they started to say that something deeper and more important was growing into that special friendship; Nick missed the fights, but only because the making up was always sweeter, because Brian was always the first to come and touch his hand, demanding apologies but ready to offer some from his side. Nick missed Brian because everything, around him, sounded silent and loneliness had never been a kind friend to him: on the contrary, that fake friend had always tried to get into his soul, tried to make him forget how much loved and adored was by the most amazing and beautiful man on the whole world.

Above everything, Nick missed the way Brian would make any dark cloud and storm disappear. Nick missed those words that were never told, never whispered but conveyed with a simple kiss, touch, caress or hug: “ _I’m here. You’re here. We are together and nothing can touch us._ ”

And just as the video chat ended and the laptop’s screen had darkened until it had become just a black spot, Nick’s phone rang to announce the arrival of a new message. Nick almost didn’t take it up, still lingering with Brian’s absence into his soul and wondering if it was possible to stop the tour bus and try to get into Brian’s, even if it meant just a stolen kiss or an “ _I love you”_ whispered in the dark. But still, though, Nick’s hand reached for his phone and he couldn’t help the smile curving his lips while reading those few but loud words.

_I miss you too, B._


End file.
